Grand Theft Auto has always been the industry’s most talked-about franchise, for better or for worse. And GTA V is one of the most popular games of all time. And also, the most expensive. From those early days of chaos to the massive beast that is GTA V, the series reflects everything weird about life. It’s about that specific feeling that you’re playing in a universe where everything is possible, one that makes you laugh while you’re doing something awful. You steal cars, and beat people, and don’t question any of it if a funny line follows it up.
The jump to Los Santos was where the writing stood out. The main character is Michael, the retired crook who is having one crisis after another. There is also Franklin, the guy who is actually trying to make something of himself. And Trevor.
Looking back, the dialogue in GTA has evolved from tough guy movies into this satire that feels almost too real at times. Here are the most memorable, funny, and brutal lines from GTA V.
The GTA V Story
The story starts in Los Santos. The city is loud and messy, filled with greedy people who would do anything to get what they want. And at the center of the story, you have Michael, a retired criminal who thought left his dark past behind. You also meet Franklin, a younger man who tries to make a name for himself, no matter the costs. And at last, Trevor, an unhinged guy who doesnțt really care about rules.
Their paths meet in a series of heists and betrayals, and their stories are so dark, yet they make you laugh at the same time. You end up questioning your own morality, but GTA V isn’t really the place to make those kinds of observations.
The Philosophy of Michael
- “You forget a thousand things every day, pal. Make sure this is one of them.”
- “I’m rich, I’m miserable, I’m pretty much the American Dream.”
- “Surviving is winning, Franklin! Everything else is just makeup.”
- “Look, you wake up one day and your legs, they just give out, and you can’t run anymore.”
- “I’ll tell ya one thing, T, I’m getting too old for this nonsense.”
- “You tell me exactly what you want, and I will carefully explain you why it cannot be.”
- “You… are a hipster! I hate hipsters.”
- “Why did I move here? I guess it was the weather…”
- “Go to college. Then you can rip people off and get paid for it. It’s called capitalism.”
- “I feel like I’m channeling bulls right now.”
- “Kill me. I need something to talk to my shrink about.”
- Michael: “Well, then today’s lesson’s all about humility. Tomorrow we’ll try a training montage.” Franklin: “A training what?” Michael: “Nothin’. I was just lost in an 80’s movie fantasy.” Franklin: “Yeah, I can see you spend a lot of time there.” Michael: “Yeah, as much as I can.”
Unfiltered Trevor
- “I need to meditate. Or hit someone.”
- “Does it help if I say that I’m sorry? Because I am. I’m very, very sorry. But I’m still gonna kill you.”
- “Scooooooter Brother!”
- “The organic food comes from the same place as the regular food! It just costs more because the person who picked it was wearing a nicer hat!”
- “What kind of fucking animal do you take me for? No, I didn’t kill him. But I did kidnap his wife!”
- “Then, hekindagotalittleangry. So I admit, ikindagotalittleangry”
- Michael: “What the fuck, Trevor!” Trevor: “This is the fuck, my soggy friend!”
- “Why, thank you… THIS IS SEVEN DOLLARS! I said something nice, not something expensive!”
- “Don’t you ever not tell me things I wanna know!”
Franklin
- “You wanna be a mogul? You gotta look like a mogul. Right now you look like a mothertrucker who’s been living in a dumpster.”
- “I’m just a guy who wants to be a better person… while still doing bad things.”
- “Lester the Molestor bro! We got ourselves some military hardware.”
- “I’m not stoned at all. Hell no, not at all. Completely not stoned… Shit, I could be a brain surgeon.”
- “Man, if you told me a few years ago I end up in this legit-ass business… I’d laugh at your fucking face.”
- “Look, man, you two motherfuckers terrify me of that middle-age.”
- “You’re a genetic experiment gone wrong, dog.”
- “You cool? Cool what? Slinging dope and throwing up gang signs?”
Side Characters
- “I don’t think a ‘professional’ would be using a social network to find a getaway driver.” – Lester.
- “Mindblowing! It’s like… it’s like I’m looking at a mirror, but the mirror’s better looking than me!” – Lamar.
- “Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut, you’d get some bitches on your dick.” – Lamar
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.” – Jimmy De Santa.
- “You’re a terrible father, Michael. But you’re a great thief.” – Dave Norton.
- “Genius is a curse, Michael. Believe me.” – Lester.
- “Don’t hate me ’cause I’m beautiful, nigga.” – Lamar
- “I’m just a washed-up old lady who likes day-drinking.” – NPC
- “At least when I’m drunk I have an excuse for driving like this!” – Pedestrian
- “Maybe rehab didn’t work.” – Pedestrian
- “You wrecked my wave machine, man!” – Surfer
