If you spent any part of the early 2000s hunched over your computer playing GTA Vice City, your core memories are probably all about neon pink and the digital heat of a summer night in the city. GTA Vice City was a mood, a weird but gorgeous parody of 80s excess. It somehow convinced an entire generation that wearing a Hawaiian shirt while running a criminal empire was a normal thing.
Ray Liotta voiced Tommy Vercetti in a way that made him feel human. He was exhausted and always annoyed that everyone around was a moron, but still got the job done. And even today, it’s impressive how well the script holds up. The writing is sharp and cynical, very chaotic, in a way that many modern games are too scared to touch.
The cast of GTA Vice City
The magic of Vice City lies in its diverse cast of disasters. The main character is Tommy Vercetti, a mobster who, after 15 years in prison, is sent from the north to the sunny streets of Vice City. Here, he realizes he is surrounded by people who are as dangerous as him.
Here, he finds some partners who are just as crazy. First is Ken Rosenberg, a lawyer who is always stressed out. Then comes Lance Vance in his white suit, acting cool but getting very easily offended. Last is Avery Carrington, a rich mogul who doesn’t care who he steps on as long as he can keep building his skyscrapers. These are the characters that feel straight out of an ’80s crime movie, and you’re the main dude, doing whatever you want and getting away with it, almost all of the time.
The game is all about the 80’s vibes, with the hot summer nights, neon colors, palm trees, and if this doesn’t bring up nostalgia, the official Vice City radio playlists surely will.
Here are some of the funniest GTA Vice City quotes that echo through the streets of Ocean Beach.
- “Who are these pricks, anyway? Lawyer pricks, rug-wearing pricks… I’m surrounded by pricks!” – Tommy Vercetti
- “Who does this guy think he is? Now I gotta dress like a chump as well as hang out with him? I like this shirt!” – Tommy’s offense at being told his iconic Hawaiian shirt isn’t classy enough.
- “No. I just wanted to piss you off before I kill you.” – In the final confrontation with Sonny Forelli, Sonny asks if Tommy really thought he’d fall for the fake cash, and this is his response.
- “It’s time for the Mr. Lance Vance Dance!” – Lance Vance
- “I poke my head out of the gutter for one freakin’ second, and fate shovels shit in my face!” – Ken Rosenberg. This is the first line of the game once you’re in control, and it sets the tone for Ken’s entire life.
- ”I’m looking for the money, Sonny!” – Tommy Vercetti.
- “He killed my brother. What do you expect me to do? Mow his lawns?” – Lance Vance
- “I like fish. I love fish… but I don’t wanna sleep with them!” – Ken Rosenberg
- “I flunked school ’cause I’m hardcore!” – Lazlow (V-Rock)
- “Is it me, or are the roads made of jelly?” – Phil Cassidy
- “I’d chase you, but I ate too many donuts!” – VCPD Officer
- “That guy could defend an innocent man all the way to death row!” – Kent Paul
- “You got on panties like a woman too, huh?” – Umberto Robina
- “Hey Officer! Nice badge, nice badge!” – Lance Vance
- “Blame my mother. I do.” – Ken Rosenberg.
- “You drive like you look…stupid.” – Pedestrian
- “Tim! They’ve got your wife!” – “But I’m not married!” – “You are now… TO AMERICA!” – Radio commercials with the Exploder movie trailer.
- “Tommy Vercetti… Huh! Shit. Didn’t think they’d ever let him out.”
- “I’m late for my yoga class!” – Pedestrian
- “Our audience is largely male, violent, and barely literate.” – Radio show
For more iconic lines from the history of gaming, don’t miss the Most Powerful Video Game Quotes of All Time.
